November 20 – Qof - Psalm 119:145-152

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

November 20 – Qof - Psalm 119:145-152

With my whole heart I cry; answer me, O LORD! I will keep thy statutes.
I cry to thee; save me, that I may observe thy testimonies.
I rise before dawn and cry for help; I hope in thy words.
My eyes are awake before the watches of the night, that I may meditate upon thy promise.
Hear my voice in thy steadfast love; O LORD, in thy justice preserve my life.
They draw near who persecute me with evil purpose; they are far from thy law.
But thou art near, O LORD, and all thy commandments are true.
Long have I known from thy testimonies that thou hast founded them for ever.

It seems as if the Psalmist gets the same type of sleep I get when I am stressed or worried about something. I’m awake long before dawn and in the middle of the night, I find myself lying there, desperately trying to relax enough to fall back to sleep.  There is nothing worse than being awake when the world is asleep and finding that all you want to do when the world is awake is sleep.  On the nights when I end up reading through most of the night because I’m not sleeping, I fall soundly asleep about eight o’clock in the morning.

One night I was in college and couldn't sleep. My roommate was sound asleep in the bunk bed above me and I wasn't going to turn on a light or get up and do anything because I didn't want to disturb her, so I just lay there praying to go back to sleep.  It wasn't working. I tried everything.  At one point, I began reciting The Lord’s Prayer over and over and over again, hoping that the familiar words would relax me and bring me comfort so I could release whatever it was that was causing me to be upset.

Other times I have attempted to recite as much scripture as possible or simply pray whether silently or out loud.  When I’m alone, I will turn on a light and read the Bible or do anything to send me back to sleep.  Sometimes I can relax, but most of the time I remain awake.

Maybe those moments are when God is trying to get my attention.  I've tried to make myself available.  Nothing profound has really ever happened; generally my frustration begins to build after being awake for a few hours.

For many years, I slept with the television going in the background, knowing that it would distract me from the things which brought me stress and would offer enough white noise to drown out the insanity of my own mind.

I trust the Lord and I count on Him to supply my every need.  There were some mornings I told Him that He would be the only way I made it through that day and when I got to the end of the day, I was grateful for His strength.

When I think that I am alone in those long, dark nights, the words of the Psalmist comfort me even when they don’t put me back to sleep.  I am never alone.  When I am awake, He is with me; when I sleep He surrounds me with His care.  When I am stressed, He comforts me.