Since I've started back to school, I've faced more fear than I have in a long time. I seem to always be facing a deadline or waiting for a grade to post. I feel inadequate most of the time to be quite honest. Impending doom and failure seems to hang over my head on a regular basis. When these feelings torment me, I find myself in tears until I realize that God brought me to this place and I can trust in Him. I don't have to simply trust in myself. I'm not the one who will get me through this. Oh, I'm doing the work, but He is giving me the strength and the knowledge, the wisdom and understanding to get things done.
So ... tomorrow I will deal with an interminable amount of work to interpret Matthew 13:1-52. Seven parables ... deep interpretation. Yup ... probably gonna cry. I have a large mid-term paper due Thursday by midnight. It's actually two papers, but who's counting? I've already stressed out over that one. Fortunately my other two courses beat me up last week, so I can focus on these this week.
Pray for me? :)
October 10, 2009 - Psalm 27:1-14
There are so many verses in this Psalm that are not only familiar to me but I treasure because of their impact.
"The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 27:1)
I am not often fearful and afraid, but when I am, those emotions consume me to the point that I find it difficult to function. The words of this verse are so comforting when I actually apply them to my life. If I profess to believe in God, the Creator, why should I fear? He is the light the fills the darkest room, He is my salvation, He is the strength of my heart. I have nothing to fear.
"One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and seek him in his temple." (Psalm 27:4)
Wow! I actually ask a lot more of the Lord, but nearly everything I ask is extremely self-centered and self-serving. And so filled with my daily needs. When my mother was dying, I remember the absolute peace that she had because she knew that she was transitioning to this state ... to dwell in the house of the Lord. That was all she had left to desire. I look forward to the day I can rid myself of earthly desires and want nothing more than to seek him in his temple.
"Hear my voice when I call, O Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of you, "Seek his face!" Your face, Lord, I will seek." (Psalm 27:7-8)
Do you listen to your heart? My heart tells me to seek the face of the Lord. What a wondrous statement of faith.
"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." (Psalm 27:13-14)
Are you confident that you will see the goodness of the Lord in your life while on earth? I am so thankful to have this confidence. When I talk to friends that don't actually have a strong relationship with God, I hear disappointment in life, fears that things will never turn around for them, frustration at the immediacy of their problems. All I can do is encourage them, pray for them and let them know that God really is watching. Sometimes it takes awhile, but "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
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