May 22 - Onesiphorus

Friday, May 22, 2009

May 22 - Onesiphorus - 2 Timothy 1:13-18

Diane says:
Who better than Paul's dear son to receive the precious trust of the gospel of Christ that Paul says was given to him in 1 Timothy 1:11? The Holy Spirit would help Timothy as he guarded against heresy and the twisting of the gospel.

Paul was disappointed in two (Phygelus and Hermogenes), yet Onesiphorus stands as a shining example. This young man had tracked Paul down in Rome and even though the stigma of being a prisoner was harsh, was not embarrassed or ashamed to be associated with Paul. Onesiphorus had associated with Paul as a helper while he taught in Ephesus and more than likely hosted a house church there (2 Timothy 4:19).

Rebecca says:
I hate to admit that I have jumped ship a couple of timeson this journey with God. I grew up Mormon and it was in fact that religion that gave me my first taste of God. It was in that church that I learned about family, and love, and dedication. It taught me many attributes of God that I carried with me for most of my life and kept me in His boat even during some rough waters. But there were a few things that happened at the tail end of that era of my life that left me hurt, and feeling duped, befuddled, and more than a little let down by the God I thought I knew. So I jumped ship and I headed deep, deep, deep into the wilderness.

I was a foreigner at that time hiding out in the proverbial forest trying to stay as far from God as I could possibly get. I crawled under a rock to lick my wounds and told God that if this was the way He operated I wanted nothing to do with Him. He let me walk away, He let me run, and He let me live in that pit of a forest for a few years. It stunk there, and I became a horrific creature there. I did things and made choices that I still shudder at. I am debating even as I write this sentence whether I should tell you one of my larger secrets. It is still hard for me to shine light on it but I have always tried to be honest with the readers of my blog and so I guess the best thing to do is just level with you and let you all know that I became a phone sex operator. Uugghhh, that may be too much for some of you, you might never look at me the same again but it is true. I was lost and now working in an industry that was more than a little taboo. My few friends laughed about it but to this day it is not something any of us talk about ever because there is a stigma it carries with it still even now.

I have not thought a lot about that part of my life until tonight, as I read these verses because one particular phrase jumped out and almost choked me. "He searched hard for me until he found me." Those words are beautiful to me and in many ways I can imagine how dear Onesiphorus must have been to Paul. Paul also had a little bit of a stigma attached, though his was not self inflicted. A prisoner back in those days was no one to be friends with. They were the lot of society you steered clear from and didn’t make eye contact with, yet Onesiphorus didn’t care and searched hard to find Paul. That says something, you know? There is a level of love in that whole situation that touches me at my core because it is one that has a familiar scent.

When I was in that job, even though I was running hard and fast as far away from God as I could, He diligently searched for me. Out of protection and defense I buried myself under masks and weights and year after year, layer after layer, I lost the girl I once was. To my eyes that girl was lost forever. But God searched hard, He did not give up. And it mattered not to Him what line of work I was in, or how far away I was holed up, or what type of chains had me bound. He searched until He found me and then tenderly restored me. He was my Onesiphorus. Yes, yes I know there is a bit of a difference between good old Paul and me. I voluntarily entered a prison of my own design and Paul was unjustly held there by another man's will but beyond that, what this verse screams to me is the absolute unconditional love our LORD has for us regardless of our chains.


We are all bound by chains, those parts of ourselves - lost sections of our soul that have jumped ship and still try to stay in Rome when the rest of our lives are running out of Ephesus. I am brought to my knees with that love, filled up so fully that I cannot breathe when I think of God searching hard for us no matter where we have roamed.

I wonder how, with that sort of evidential love, do I still not search as hard for Him some days? How in situations that seems confusing, or challenging, or difficult, or painful, do I so easily forget His whereabouts and just try to gulp it down. I wonder why in circles of non believers I let the stigma of religion silence my thoughts, or why I let friends embarrassed by a hallelujah shout successfully keep me on mute. If He so willingly fills the role as my own personal Onesiphorus, then why won’t I reciprocate?

This world is a dark forest and sometimes it is incredibly difficult to know where He is. Sometimes I am blinded by circumstances or emotions or stress, and sometimes God does something that I do not understand and even disappoints me. But should I not still willingly search hard for Him regardless of the climate around me? Shouldn’t I still seek Him out even if what He is doing isn’t something this limited mind of mine approves of? Even when He confuses me shouldn’t I still guard that deposit He has placed in me and seek His face no matter what?

So many people deserted Paul when all he was doing was spending his life doing what he thought best. That must have been incredibly hard for him. And I am so grateful for Onesiphorus, for his diligence and willingness to look past stigmas and taboos of society to find his friend and let him know he was not alone. I am grateful to a God who has never abandoned me, and still searched hard beyond all my external ickiness to find the daughter he created. Grateful that He sees beyond stigmas or stereotypes or labels this world places to still find us and comfort us and remind us we are not alone.

It is my sincerest hope after this little wake up call tonight that we will all be that kind of friend to Him. The kind that does not let society, or emotion, or our own preconceived notions keep us from searching hard for Him regardless of the situation. Because everyone, even the great I am deserves an Onesiphorus don’t ya think?

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