May 24 - Are You a Pusher?

May 24 - Are You a Pusher? - 2 Timothy 2:8-13

Diane says:
Verse 8 is Paul's gospel. Jesus is the Messiah (the Christ), he is raised from the dead (a feat no one accomplished), he is descended from David (Jesus was the fulfillment of the Covenant made with David to the Israelites). Paul then saw his chains in comparison to God's Word which is unleashed in the world. Nothing can bind or even stop God's Word, not even our inattentiveness to it.

Verses 11-13 are more than likely part of a baptismal ceremony commonly used at the time. The words, "If we died with him, we will also live with him" are taught with greater depth in Romans 6:2-23 as part of Paul's teaching on baptism. "If we endure, we will reign." Our sufferings bring glorification (Romans 8:17, Revelation 3:21). "If we disown him, he will disown us" reminds us of Jesus' words in Matthew 10:33, but "If we are faithless, he will remain faithful." Christ's work on our behalf is not contingent on our faithfulness ... it is a gift.

Rebecca says:
I am what you might call a pusher. I always have been and because of many years of honing this skill, there are few I cannot push away. I do it because I don’t want to get hurt. If someone gives off even a scent of possibly disappointing me, I quickly push, push, push until they can't take it anymore and finally leave. Sometimes I have to be very tricky about it, sometimes it takes a little manipulation, but I can think of only a handful of people I have not successfully pushed away when I set my mind to it and most of them are family. But I have a little secret that not many people know. Deep down in the part of my heart that is still a little girl and believes in good things and fairytales, I really really hope every time I push that someone will just shake me and tell me to knock off my nonsense because they are not going anywhere regardless of how much I try.

I like to push people away because I will be the one who walks away and it gets me off the hook. If they leave I can pull out the 'abandoned' card, but if I leave I am a bad person because when the going got tough, I got going. It’s a very manipulative passive aggressive, spineless thing I do and I think I never realized how ridiculously weak it was until I started typing this.

I did that with God a while back, but the problem was I couldn’t seem to push him anywhere and I resorted to verbal threats. The night I came to Christ began with just such a threat. I went to a play for my son that our neighbor was in because he just kept begging me to go. It was at a church and when I walked in, I in all my pushiness stepped over the threshold and pointed up to the ceiling and said "God let me make this quite clear. I am not here for you, I am here for my son and I better not even feel a goose bump through this thing. You stay on Your side of the fence and I will stay on mine." I thought I had successfully pushed Him away because I did not feel even a goose bump or chill through the entire night and I was pretty proud of myself.

Then, just as I was gathering up my belongings to walk away in triumph, the pastor got up and started talking about receiving Christ into your life and how He loves us and how He could change our lives and he began to pray the prayer of salvation. My world started caving in. You see, my little 7 year old son who is my life and the only, only person I have ever truly given my heart to started to weep during that prayer and at the end the pastor said that if you prayed that prayer then you accepted Christ into your life and part of accepting Him was to come forward as a proclamation that you did that.

And my son who would not even go to the bathroom without asking me to go with him, did something I will never forget. He raised his little head and without even looking at me, stood up and stepped over my leg and started walking forward. My entire existence came crashing in around me and I started screaming at God, telling Him that was not fair and then I heard Him. I heard Him for the first time in forever and He spoke into my heart and said "He is mine, I want you too, but it’s your choice. We are moving forward and you will be left behind."

I panicked and stood up because I could not let my son do this alone. I started walking forward just out of selfish, motherly instinct and not wanting to let go of my son, my heart. And somehow with just that one act of standing up, God changed my world and by the time I reached the altar with him I was changed and brought to my knees.

"If we are faithless, he is faithful for he cannot disown himself." I realized today after reading this in Timothy that though I pushed and though I was faithless, God never moved. Even in my anger and rage he found that one true part of me, that one still pure part of my heart that was linked to my son. And in that part He saw a reflection of Himself and because of that He did not disown me. My son was the thread that kept me from being tagged as only faithless, not disowning.

God is so unbelievably gracious, so unselfish, so loving that even when wretches turn their back on Him he still searches to find that one spot that still is a reflection of Him. We need not have arms that reach or voices that praise or knees that bend but only one tiny thread of love that still exists, regardless of how buried it is. And with that one thread He will weave our lives into such a tapestry of wonder that I truly become breathless when I think of it.

He never lets go even if we do and even when we are ready to turn our back and walk away He searches for that one place, that one secret link that still might keep us connected because He adores us so much. He willingly died just for a chance to hold that thread a little longer and do something magical with it. Oh, how blessed we are to know such a God. And how grateful I am that though I was faithless, He was faithful, I don’t know who or where I would be if that were not so but I am so very grateful I never have to find out!